Snowbound II - Past (part 1)

I never thought it would all end like this.

The shivering touch of Death’s grasp feels most foul when you die with no one by your side – When you die alone, never remembered, forever forgotten. The storm erases your past markings and in the end it is like you never had the warm breath of Life within yourself to begin with.
During the time span between the birth of the storm and now, I had walked by several leopards’ mortal remains, poor fools that, like me, had been caught in this death trap.
The hail and snow, the tears of the storm, hit my pelt on a cruel, frozen dance, a test of endurance to see how much longer I would last. The answer: Not much, I was at the end of my strength and soon enough my four legs would give in, forcing me to dive into the white blanket and never emerge again. Much like those I had seen this far. As I struggled through this death march my eyes narrowed with the effort I was making, my blurry gaze not able to see other than the darkness of the night closing around me.
I gave up, it was over. Truly, what miserable fate.

*****

I lied by the entrance of my pride’s den, shielded from the blizzard. It wasn’t right for the daughter of a pack leader to want out. It wasn’t right for her to refuse a union, no matter if forced. Funny enough, what was right for her to do was to allow her own spirit to be broken, to give up on her wishes in order to bear unwanted offspring. As long as it assured that the pride’s leadership remained as the “family business”.
I didn’t ask to be born that daughter! I could only cry inwardly in order not to show weakness. My forced union was scheduled to be next month under the next full moon, in order for it to be – and I am quoting – «blessed». My eyes were crystalline with unshed tears as I looked to the light’s source that peeked back, half hidden by the cover of falling snow and hail.
“Lady Moon, why must I suffer like this?” It took all of my wits to push back the evading tears. I felt little Jouda shift his sleeping position, tucking further against the curve formed by my protective stance. A smile appeared in the landscape of sadness that was featured by my muzzle. Dear baby brother… after our mother died in the short moments after his birth, I became so much more that his older sister, I became the mother of this small sample of snow leopard. I never bore cubs of my own so he had to be nursed by another leopardess that had given birth to her own children at the same time Jouda was born. Other than that, it was I who took care of him, like I mentioned before, as a mother would. Grooming his fur worked as a charm, for a moment I managed to forget sadness.
Suddenly I halted my actions, a new scent I did not recognize brought to me by the savage wind. The fur in the back of my neck rises as I see black stripes stumbling through the deadly curtain of white. Instinctively, I carefully grabbed Jouda by the scruff of his neck, retreating further into the protective darkness. He is such a lazy fur ball… other than a quick yawn, he did not wake up.

*****

I felt the snow underneath my paws giving in and soon enough I lied on the ground, warmth starting to abandon my core. Unaware if it was an illusion or reality I could perceive the open maw of a cave really close to where I slowly perished. If only… It took all my might to drag my bulky body across the freezing ground, even if it was just a couple of inches. I only wanted to be close to the entrance, to be in anyway shielded from the stabbing cold.
That was when my body truly gave up and soon, all I could perceive was darkness… And then it took over, dragging me to unconsciousness.

*****

The stripped creature fell and did not rise up again, it was probably living its last moments before the omnipresent hourglass ran out of the sand of life.
A lump inside my throat made itself known. It was not fair that that poor white tiger froze to death whilst I cowered in warmth. I looked around to make sure no one saw my actions and got up gently in order not to wake the heavy sleeper. Not that there was much probability. Sprint took me next to the dying one in less than two seconds. He had been so close to safety, if any other of my pride was in my paws, they’d do nothing. Why must reality be so harsh… so cruel? The inner maelstrom matched the outer storm in fierceness, but it did not stop me from performing a good deed. First I checked his body for injuries and then, glad that I had found none, I gripped the excess fur at the back of his neck and used all my strength to drag him away from the storm and into the cave. Five meters may not seem much but it sure is a difficult trip when you have to drag something nearly double your weight.
I do not know how I was able to do so, but I passed the challenge and laid his body onto dry rock, dropping myself to lay by his side, panting from the effort. But it wasn’t over, I still needed to know if my efforts had been worth it, if this handsome specimen was still alive. My ears perked up and I smiled as I listened to his steady heartbeat. Only then I allowed myself to relax.
“There, you are safe now.” I murmured. Even if he did not hear me, his body did acknowledge the rise of temperature, thanking me unconsciously with a strong, yet low purr.
“Sista’” I was caught by surprise as the owner of a weak, sleepy voice sneaked up on me, “Whe’e we’e you? It’s cold…” Jouda nested against my warm body, shivering and waking up for real as he felt my wet fur, “Wha?” Finally he noticed my rescued guest and his fur went up, alarmed, “lo’kout, the’s a mean wookin’ tiga behind you!”
“Shush now,” I assured him, following with the command, “Go back to sleep.”
“But-”
“Aneira, what are you doing?” I flinched at the roar. Father approached from the darkness of the den, his muzzle a mask of disapproval. No doubt he’d chase off the poor creature, had I not been around. Fortunately, I was.
“Father,” I fought back the anger I had always felt for him since early adulthood, from the moment I was… offered, “I found him dying outside.” Even though my head hanged low, I could perceive a growl, ever so menacing. Before I could continue, the growl had an unexpected effect.

*****
My heart must’ve skipped a beat the moment each of my blurry senses alerted me to imminent danger. I could smell the approaching musky smell – a male leopard’s stench. Words of arguing made themselves known as well: a verbal skirmish between a male and a female. Even though my vision was as blurry as blurry could be, I manage to blindly stand up.
Perceiving their stances shifting due to my movement, I was able to slowly dispel the darkness as I backtracked – even slower – against the closest cavern wall. My mistake was to stand up as dizziness began to ravish my insides. The echoing voices did not help.
“Please Father, can’t you see that he’s scared? That does not matter for me, he is an outsider and cannot stay; But he’ll die! That’s none of our concern. If Nature wants to claim his life then-”
“Please…” The blurriness was completely dispelled by the fear I felt of being thrown back out. And so I risked the gamble, “I’ll do anything… I just… please… I only need one night…” It was hard to find the correct words, fragmented and spread throughout my mind, “I’ll hunt for you… if that’s what it takes.” I did not lie; I was ready to play the part of a mercenary, if that meant shelter from the stabbing cold.
The female took my words and seemed to gain the upper paw in the discussion.
“The rabbits we’ve been hunting are hardly sufficient for a den this big. We need someone with his bulk if we plan on hunting big game; If we plan on surviving the winter without further causalities’!”
A snort from the male, I could tell he knew the female stood to reason, yet my soul was still not at ease. Suddenly the ‘Father’ glared in my direction and asked.
“Tell me Tiger, how successful is your hunting skill?”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat, this was it. What did Shicksal had in store for me?
“Over the last seven moons I’ve hunted… two male bucks and an arctic fox… Only today have I gone hungry for the storm caught me by surprise.”
“In other words, you’re a decent hunter… but an idiotic sample when it comes to find shelter.”
“Spot on, Master leopard.” I perceived a small grin. That was good, right? The answer came once the female seemed to relax her protective stance.
“Count your lucky stars, it seems you’ll live for some more time.” I could not help a sigh of relief, “Tomorrow you’ll lead a small pack of young hunters. Teach them.” A nod from me, “The more food you bring, the better the chances of you sleeping under a ceiling for a few more moons.”
The pride’ leader then roared a few names. I failed to catch any of them. Three youths, one male and two females came forward and we were instructed to leave at sunrise. The female that defended me was then commanded to grab a small cub I had failed to notice and retreat further into the cavern. Knowing I had seen her flinch, she gave me a small gentle smile before doing as she was told, followed by my, I guess, to-be pupils and those of the pride that had come together to witness my fate.
Knowing it wouldn’t be wise to tempt Luck, I stayed by the den’s entrance, a boulder protecting me from the cold.
I DID count my lucky stars. Overall, they were plenty and for that I was thankful.
Laying down to rest, I tried to calm my heartbeat and relax. Teaching these hunters wannabe into the ways of the hunt should prove… interesting at least.

Before the Sun was even up, the four of us were already out and about.
None of them, little more than cubs, knew the first thing about hunting; that much became crystal clear after the first two or so hours of watching the three racing after arctic hares. Skipping a leap they allowed the prey to escape whilst often they would nearly slam against the closest snow elevation. I couldn’t help myself to a frustrated growl.
But giving up was out of the question, not if I was to stay out of the cold.
I told them to rest for a minute and demonstrated HOW to catch a hare.
“Be patient, you three,” I instructed, placing myself into position, “Lie still and wait for them to come close…” My paw moved forward slowly, triggering a wave of nervous anticipation back where I had growled them to lie hidden.

The arctic hare froze, something was off. It had felt the smell of snow leopard somewhere nearby and so it gazed around nervously, looking for predators. Another smell came, mixing with that of the spotted menace, this one the hare had never felt before.
It got ready to retreat back to its den. The moment it turned around it-

Picking it up in a quick swoop, I killed the hare by cracking its neck. The crimson blood had barely touched the snow when I finished gulping down the rodent, the closest to a full belly I had had in some time. Licking my muzzle, regaining the strength of a comforted stomach, I began by instructing my coterie of students to follow suit, we would try our luck somewhere else. Never did I manage to shake the feeling that we were being tailed.
Seeing an elk far in the distance on the borderline of the thick trees, the students were excited and expecting. I couldn’t help but laugh. If they couldn’t even catch a rabbit, what chances did they stand against a full grown buck?
But that’s when something came to mind. Birds who had been in the far south for the winter would often talk of how the lionesses within a pride would work together to gather food. The concept was simple in nature but chances were it could work. The day would quickly come to its end and far as we were, we would never reach the den before late night.
I could perceive my students’ stance shifting; the faint growl of hunger could be heard. In no way could we hunt the elk today, not without the risk of being hurt or worst, a casualty. Almost like it knew, the elk – slightly mockingly – walked back into the woods. Giving up and deciding to call it a day, I instructed them to find shelter for us whilst I tried to find food.
It was nearly nightfall when we rendezvous at the place they had found for the night. A small cave that would shield us from the night’s cold. I was also successful, finding just about enough food in the hare’ body count: two grown suckers and a kitten. Giving them the loot, I discovered that leopards could be polite: They were grateful for the food and ate it without any complaints nor talk of the one elk that got away.

*****
It was dark and I could barely see anything. If I were to lose their trail now, I would be in serious trouble, completely lost. I guess that’s the good thing about living within a pride: Protection, company, better chances of assured food. It hurt to realize just how unprepared I was to face the white vastness of the mountain range.
Suddenly, the worst happened.
The wind suddenly changed direction and, with it, I lost the faint scent I had been following thus far. It was alright, I could still follow the pawprints they had left behind, but eventually even those faded away, leaving me stranded in the middle of open field.
I knew I shouldn’t, but I panicked. Frenetically looking around, trying to pick up the lost scent, all I could perceive was the cold blanket that stretched on and on, coupled with the dark mantle of night.
Oh no, I thought in the midst of growing fear, Who would care for little Jouda if I were to die? He had no current value in the matter of alliance forging and I knew for sure that Father did not care much for him.
Sweet baby brother…
The wind quickly picked up and I knew for sure that if I didn’t find shelter I would die.
Just how, it crossed my mind, did that white tiger survive alone in such an environment? Was luck such a big part of things or did he knew of some trick to it?
To add insult to injury, I began to feel the sting of hunger. Cursing my bad luck, I marched on, beginning to realize just how bad he had had it.
My paws eventually began to give in and I despaired. Where was my Aneira? Would I be blessed with his luck and be rescued as well? Any hope that I had was vanquished when I began hearing… howls…